Regarding Romantic Relationships Triple R
by Insert42Words
Summary: Walter and Happy talk about stuff, then Happy decides to unload on Paige. Paige... gets mad. This is me getting rid of Tim, because, well, Waige. Paige might be a bit out of character, but it's refreshing.


Walter snuck up the ramp silently, determined to avoid any questions from the team, especially the damn nosy shrink. He was pretty sure he had gotten away unnoticed—Cabe was on his phone by the monitors; Toby was reading one of his med books while simultaneously typing a report; Sly was engrossed in a new comic book; and Tim and Paige were… well, they were busy. Walter grimaced as he thought about what he witnessed as he quietly retreated to the back of the lower level toward the ramp.

Once he reached his living quarters, he let the tension leave his shoulders, slumping over at the kitchen counter. A cup of coffee appeared at his side and he gratefully reached for it.

"Thanks."  
"No problem. Took you long enough. What was the hold up?"

"I… he was touching her and I damn near ripped his head off. They didn't see me, but I stood there like an idiot, couldn't move away. It was easier before, you know. When we were still robots."

Happy frowned and narrowed her eyes. She hated that damn Tim, maybe not as much as Walt, but it was a close thing.

"You want me to kick his ass?"

Walter gave a hollow laugh. "Yes, please." He grinned at his friend, knowing that if he were sincere in his request, Happy wouldn't hesitate to knock Tim down a notch. But… the smile slipped away. "That would make her mad though. She's happy. Let her be happy."

"Better man than me, O'Brien. And I use that term figuratively, of course. So…", Happy glanced toward the doors, seeing they were both shut and then walked over to the intercom. With a quick swipe, she unplugged the damn interfering machine and then looked back to Walter. "Dumbest thing she ever did was install that. Well, second dumbest. Timterloper gets the highest honour."

"Timterloper? That sounds like a Toby thing to say. He's rubbing off on you."

"Damn shrink. Speaking of my potential fiancé, is he getting close?"

"No. I've been watching his entire search remotely. He can't even tell that I've ghosted on to his computer. Either he doesn't have a clue, or he knows and he's denying the truth. I'm not good at analyzing people, but I'm going with him being clueless. Have you made any progress on rectifying the situation?"

"Some. Since the online records were deleted—thank you—they have to pull the actual hard copies. Once they get those to the file clerk's office, they should call my lawyer to get the rest of the paperwork in order, and then I just have to go and sign on the lines. My lawyer got it set up so that we can avoid a court appearance. Two more weeks, tops, then this whole thing is over."

"Unfortunately, Toby is never going to let it go. He will not let this rest until you tell him who you are married to, Happy. We both know that."

"You want me to tell him?"

"Not particularly," Walter sighed.

"Do _you_ want to tell him?"

"That might be even worse. Maybe… maybe I can create a completely fictional person…?"

"Damn, O'Brien, not a bad idea. Seriously, let's do that. How long will it take you?"

"That part's easy—I can set everything up online in a matter of hours. The problem is if Toby ever sees the divorce papers. This fictional person won't be the name listed."

"You think he'd ask to see the papers? Oh hell, of course he'd want to see the damn papers." Happy banged her head down against the counter, groaning in frustration.

"Ironically, if I had not deleted the online files, I could just go in to those and change the name there, then I could go in as your "husband" and sign the fake name…" Walter let his sentence trail off, loosing himself in thought for a moment before restarting the conversation. "Happy, do you think… if we just told him, told him what happened, and why, that maybe it would be ok? I mean eventually, if not at first? Before, when we were still robots, I could have easily lied to him for the rest of my life, never giving it a second thought because ultimately, what we did was for the greater good of Scorpion. But now… since Paige and Ralph, and I understand trust and friendship and love… now this just feels wrong. Happy, please, think about it. I'll even be the one to tell him. Or at least be there with you when you tell him."

Happy couldn't decide on the correct emotion to show; she was torn between anger and sadness, so she settled for displaying a blank, uncaring expression. "I'll think about it. But it's my decision. For now, this discussion is over."

"Ok. We will do this your way."

"Now, enough about my shattered life, how's it going on your end?"

Walter walked over to the couch and fell back, throwing his hands over his face. He felt like an overdramatic teenager, minus the zits.

"Happy, not now. I know we've been trying to talk through these emotional issues together, but I just don't have the energy for it today. Try tomorrow."

"Whatever you say, boss. I'm cool skipping the feely stuff today. Have fun hiding in your loft all day. Again."

"I'm not hiding! I'm simply taking advantage of a distraction free environment."

"Whatever, moron."

* * *

Happy crept down the ramp and ran smack into the Taige. Dammit, Toby was really beginning to influence her word choice. Tim was being a bit aggressive, considering they were at work. Surely Paige couldn't be ok with that guy grabbing and kissing her within viewing and hearing distance of the rest of the team? Ugh. _That's it,_ Happy thought, _I'm fixing this for Walt._

Happy walked right up to the sappy couple, grabbed Paige by the elbow and said, "Excuse me, but I need Paige." With that, she led Paige back up the ramp, through the loft—which earned them a curious look from Walter—and to the roof.

"Happy, what the hell?" Paige shouted as soon as the metal door slammed behind them.

"NO, Dineen, that's my line! What the _hell_ is wrong with you?"  
"I thought you're line was 'not good'. Seriously though, why'd you drag me up here?"

"Because you're being an idiot! Do you realize that you are _at work_ and you're letting that trash bag grope you? We always thought you had more sense than that, but you're proving the _entire_ team _wrong_. Do you even care that Walter saw the two of you making out? Or that Sly is trying to not barf up his lunch? Or that Cabe is going to have to report Tim as being 'unprofessional' in his probationary paperwork? But most importantly, do you even care that Walter _saw you making out with Tim_? He promised he would stop interfering, and you're doing a damn good job of tempting him to break that promise. So, I ask again—what the hell is wrong with you?"

Paige felt her face flush as tears threatened to appear. She had grown tired of telling Tim 'no' and had eventually given in to his request to find a dark corner in the garage. They'd been dating for a few weeks now, but her time was either filled with Ralph or work, leaving little time for "couple activities". Tim was a patient guy, but she could see that he was getting frustrated by her many rejections of his many advances. Secretly, she had been hoping he would tire of her numerous excuses and break off the whole thing. But not Tim. Nope. He was too good of a guy to just walk away.

"I—I didn't think Walter would go back that way. He didn't say anything. Why didn't he say something?"

"Because you yelled at him! Because you made him feel like scum so he promised to step back and leave you alone. And I'm sure whatever words would have come out of his mouth would have been completely inappropriate, causing Tim to nod understandably, you to get angry at Walter, and Walter to feel even more like an emotionally inept moron. The guy can't win with you Paige!"

Paige was stunned at Happy's completely accurate assessment of the hypothetical situation. And sadly, everything the mechanic was saying was completely true. Paige had screwed this up and she had no clue how to fix it. Being with Tim… kissing Tim, letting him touch her… the whole thing felt wrong. She needed a way out.

"Happy…."

"What's going on up here? I heard yelling?" Paige and Happy both jumped, surprised to see Walter standing at the door, hands shoved in his pockets and giving them his "I'm pretending to be confused" look.

"Nothing boss. Just a bit of girl talk. How's… how's that project you're working on?"

"Momentarily on hold. Happy, why are you yelling at Paige?"

"Walter, it's fine, really. Happy was just… just helping me view a situation from a different perspective. So, what project are you working on?" Paige was hoping her "change topics" tactic would be successful, but…

"As I stated, my project is on hold. I'd rather not discuss it with anyone at the moment. Happy, why are you yelling at Paige?" Walter walked forward until he was next to the pair, crossed his arms and glared at Happy. "I know _I_ promised not to interfere, but her relationship with Tim is also none of _your_ concern. While at work, we should all maintain a level of professionalism, and heated discussions on the rooftop about coworkers' choices in… romantic partners… is inappropriate."

Happy was pissed. She was half a second from unloading on the moron, but surprisingly, Paige beat her to it.

"Gee, Walter, you are so right. I'll just wait until I get home, call up my girlfriends, go out with them for drinks and ask for their advice on how to handle my situation. Oh! That's right! I don't have girlfriends because every second of my life is either consumed with Scorpion or Ralph! Silly me! Guess that means I'm stuck talking to NO ONE when I have a problem! And, while we're at it, when I decide to break it off with Tim, where the hell would I find another incredibly amazing guy that actually WANTS to spend time with me? I won't! Because THIS PLACE IS MY LIFE! Sucks there's no one here that I'd rather be with, guess I'm just stuck with second place, again. Because, you know, YOU won't risk a damn thing for me!"

Paige stalked off, mumbling under her breath, leaving the two geniuses standing there with their jaws unhinged. Finally, Happy shook herself back to awareness and began laughing, causing Paige to stop in her tracks and Walter to glare angrily at her again.

Paige spun back around. "The hell, Happy?! You think it's funny that my romantic life is in a tail spin? That I'm stuck in this damn relationship that I don't even want because I can't figure out how to tell the _nicest guy on earth_ that he's just not doing it for me?"

Walter's head snapped back to Paige and his mouth fell open once more. "Uh… Paige I think…"

"No no no, Walter. Stop thinking. You thinking is what caused this whole mess. 'Professional colleagues' my ass. Want to know something, Walter? While you were deprived of oxygen and floating around in space, you said some really interesting things. And I heard those really interesting things. Well, I'm sorry if it hurts you that I'm with Tim! Hell, it hurts me that I'm with Tim!"

"Paige, you need to stop talking..."

"NO, Walter. You need to _start_ talking! You were so quick to pull that damn hospital video last year to see me kissing you, so how about you go hack into Elia's video from that day! The video from the rocket _and_ the one of me sitting all by myself in the control room. You can read lips so even if there is no audio, you can figure it out! God, Walter, I'm so sick of _dancing_ around this whole damn thing with you! When you decide I'm worth the risk, come find me. But for now, I have to find a way to break up with Mr. America because he's not the guy I'm in love with!"

"That conversation won't be necessary."

Paige went pale as the color drained from her face. She continued staring straight ahead at Walter, refusing to turn around and face her… well, ex boyfriend.

"Nice to have worked with all of you. Cabe just informed me that I'm transferring to a different assignment, so I came up to say goodbye. It's just a more permanent goodbye than I thought. Paige, it was fun." And with that, the Timterloper walked out of their lives, pushing past Cabe, Sly, and Toby on his way to the door.

"So… he was there for that whole rant, wasn't he?"

"Geez, Paige, and I thought Happy was the queen of 'screw you'. You want me to go rip the knife out of his heart or do you plan on twisting it a bit more?" Toby remarked, but he couldn't keep his smirk off his face. Behind Paige's back, Happy and Walter were silently exchanging a giddy high five.

"Oh, fuck my life." A mortified Paige pushed through the crowd and ran after Tim. After a brief hesitation, Walter followed.

"Guess she's gonna twist a bit more. And if I don't hurry, I'll miss the whole thing!" Toby exclaimed as he turned and dashed through the door.

* * *

"Tim! Just wait! Please, I'm so sorry!"

Tim froze with his hand on the door, ready to walk out and never look back. Slowly he turned to face Paige, still stunned, even in this moment, by her beauty. Except now it was painful instead of pleasant, because he knew that her beauty wasn't just skin deep, like it had been with so many of the other women he had attempted to date; and he was losing her.

"Paige, it's fine. Just let it go. I'm leaving and you'll never have to see me again, ok? I'm not gonna make a scene, I just need to leave now."

"Tim… I'm, I really am sorry. I wanted this to work. I tried to…"  
"I know. You tried to fall for me. But you couldn't. Because you love him. See, I did pull the video from the rocket launch. I've known for two weeks that this was an uphill climb, but I… well, I really do like you. And I thought… maybe, maybe you could forget him and eventually love me. But this isn't' fair to either of us, it's not fair to you either, Walter."

Paige turned again to see Walter standing by the monitors, head and shoulders slumped and looking extremely uncomfortable. He cleared his throat and scratched his face, but refused to speak.

"Goodbye, Paige, and good luck." He was gone before Paige could verbalize a response.

She turned to Walter, who was doing a good impression of a statue. A small sound echoed from the back of the garage, near the camper that had once been Ray's home…. Thinking of Ray brought back his farewell words to Paige, so she sucked it up and took the little weirdo's parting advice.

"Ok, so here's how this is going to work. Tonight, you will pull the video feed from the rocket launch. Tomorrow, I'm taking the day off and spending time with Ralph. At 7, you're picking me up for our first date. Something simple, like pizza and a walk on the beach. Nothing fancy. And we… we will just go from there. Sound good?"

A curious feeling was stirring in Walter's chest and for the first time in forever, it wasn't unpleasant. Pleased by the day's turn of events, Walter grinned like the moronic idiot he was and gave her a quick nod to show his agreement. Paige grabbed her purse from her desk and then stopped in front of Walter, kissing him softly on the cheek before walking to the door. "Tomorrow. Don't be late."

Walter finally found his voice, if only a whisper, "I won't be. Seven."

Paige smiled at the man before walking out the door, hearing the beginning of a loud cheer from the back of the garage. _It might not have been smooth, Ray, but we got there,_ she thought cheerfully, as she climbed into her car and drove away.

* * *

 _AN: I just really need that man gone. Love the actor but I've always hated when writers create love triangles. And no, even in my own story, I have no clue who Happy is married to. Feel free to let your imagination roam. I wrote this one fairly quickly, so I'm sure there are some errors. I've read it five times though, so maybe I caught everything._


End file.
